The First Day

July 1, 2007

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life"

How true! Today is a beginning, today I have the opportunity to Love the world, my friends, family, acquaintances- deeply , forgivingly, and honestly. Today I have an opportunity to apologize to someone whom I've hurt, be kind and Loving to those I haven't and enjoy myself as I am . Today I can begin any journey I desire. I can Love myself more by accepting the human condition. And today I am grateful for the clarity to see before me the many blessings in my life, including my gift, my sobriety, and functional thinking which I am spreading to others.

Today I've had this thought though- for some it's the last day of the rest of their life. I can't remember how the though began, but it basically lead me into this question- if my Grandma died tomorrow- would I regret not loving her enough today, not accepting her as she is today? Even though I pray that God does his will with her , I can't help but to want to have my way and have her around to see my children grow. Because she's my mama...I love her. Well...maybe this is a wake up call, maybe I need to start spending more time with my granny. And love her not the way that she thinks I should love her rather how I know how to love her.

Somehow the thought of losing my brother also came to mind- must have been one of my OCD moments. I started to think- well if he gets into a car accident tomorrow or tonight and doesn't make it- will I be crying my eyes out in the hospital thinking-Why did I speak to him that way the other day? Why didn't I hug him more or be kinder to him? So, I am going to take the opportunity I have TODAY and Love them as I know .